Quiet, that is the word that describes my heart right now. I know it has been along time, over a month since I have posted, honestly I have just not been able to really articulate anything. I have felt a need to just be still, to try and hear the Lord's voice in the midst of my rambling mind. Even though my body has been quiet, my mind has been a whirl of thoughts, memories and sometimes overwhelming confusion. But I feel OK with that, I think for the most part it is just part of the process. Our pastor has equated what our family has gone through with Post-traumatic Stress Syndrome, I think there maybe some similarity, not to in anyway minimalism what our brave soldiers encounter in the war theater.
Earlier this month I visited Dan and Nisha in Chicago. They were there to take care of some business Nisha had with her apartment. It was such a wonderful time. I really enjoyed being shown around Chicago by Dan, we visited Museums and other "tourist" attractions. I had never had the opportunity to spend time with just Dan, and I found I so enjoyed his company, it was in many ways like I discovered my son in a new way, the man he has become. I think it brought some healing for us both also, just being able to casually talk about things and encourage each other. We took in a couple of shows, Jersey Boys and The Blue Man Group. Both were a lot of fun, Blue Man Group was very strange, very abstract.
I have been starting to seek the Lord on what is next for my life. I just started volunteering in a first grade class room in a neighboring town. I think I am going to really enjoy it. There is something about knowing that your helping children be successful. They are mostly Spanish speaking so need a lot of help with reading English. I loved their smiles when I would compliment them on how well they did reading to me. I've also been working on some much needed freshening up of the house. Painting the inside and also some of the outside. I love how the inside is looking, a little bit of color really makes a difference.
I want to thank everyone for caring so much about our family. Our journey continues, as does yours. Our God is amazing, in the midst of the hardest things you can imagine He is there, using it for His glory, giving His comfort and bring us through the storm. What is next here on this earth, I don't know, but I do know what is coming! Life eternal with those that have gone before us, and especially our Lord. I can honestly say I can't wait, but until that day, I will praise His name.