Until I see you again

Yesterday our family said "goodbye" to John. He passed from this life to an eternal one with our Lord. To me John was truly my best friend, we were a "team" in every sense of the word. I will love him all my life, and already feel as if part of me is missing. John was a wonderful father, he loved his children passionately, always putting his family first. John was a friend to many.

The pain of losing him is only made easier knowing he is with our Lord and I am sure having a wonderful time, whole again, singing praises, jumping and leaping for joy at being in the presence of our almighty God. John truly loved the Lord, and I know in the last days was anxious to be with him.

We will be having service to honor John's life, it will be on Tuesday, February 3, at 2:00 and The Oaks Community Church, 10200 Campus Park Drive, Bakersfield, CA

He's doing great

Chris that is, is doing extremely well. He will probably be able to come home tomorrow. Which is a huge blessing. What is next, well we do not know yet. We are still waiting for the final results of what exactly we are dealing with. Then a course of treatment will be planned. But for now we are just living each day, knowing it is a gift.

Chris's Emily came in last night and that was just the right thing to give him encouragement. You could just see the joy he felt having her here to be with him. As they walk this path together I know that they are being refined and made stronger. God is going to use all of this for a purpose greater then they can imagine. I feel sadness about all that my son has endured - but look forward to how God is going to use it in his life. God turns all things to good for those who love Him and Chris definitely loves the Lord.

On another note, while waiting during the surgery in the waiting room, there were several of Chris's friends as well as some of John and mines. As we waited one of my friends, Rille, started us praying every 1/2 hour. After an hour one of the girls, Kristina, felt led to worship God in song,(she's a worship leader :-)) so she sang a beautiful song. This began a time of worship right there in the waiting room. It was so beautiful, our group singing and worshiping God. Today one of the directors of the hospital commented that people through out the hospital were talking about the worship they heard. Wow - God you are so worthy of our worship

Out of surgery

Chris came through the surgery very well. They removed the tumor and the doctor felt good about removing all of it. The unfortunate news is that it initially appears to be the same type of cancer John has. This is not the news we wanted, but God is in control, He is on the throne and Chris's life is in His hands. All Chris's days are numbered by the Lord.

The good news is that we know a lot more about this type of tumor and can approach the treatment I feel more informed about various options. With John I felt we just followed the Kiaser standard treatment and I now know there are other options to go along side that. Chris's age is also a big plus. But the biggest plus is our faith and knowledge that we serve a good God and we will contend for complete healing and victory.

Shock

I write this at 4am getting ready to go to the hospital where Chris is going to have brain surgery. Shock does not even begin to encompass the emotions that goes through me. Chris had been having headaches, they got progressively worse and while at school at Cal Poly after talking with his doctor, he went to the ER there where they ran a brain scan. They showed he has 3 lesions on his brain. He was transported back to Bakersfield via Ambulance and is at San Joaquin Hospital.

The plan to is remove one of the lesions which is closest to the skull and find out what it is. From there a course of action will be taken. Chris is in good spirits, he had a large group of friend with him all day yesterday keeping him laughing and preoccupied. It was a huge blessing in the midst of truly an unbelievable situation. Chris is suppose to go into surgery at 7am this morning.

I place this all in the hands of my Father in Heaven, knowing He is good and that He will use all these trials and storms in Chris's and our lives to be turned to good. Meanwhile thanks for your prayers and love of our family.

Chris and Emily

Mihaela took this picture of Chris and Emily on a trip up to the snow.

We will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

I get a daily devotional from "The vine" and this was part of todays. It encouraged me, I hope it encourages all of you who are facing trials of many kinds.

"We will reap a harvest if we do not give up" Galatians 6:9

Perseverance turns adversity into advancement. Paul writes, "Everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the Good News" (Philp 1:12 NLT). Paul didn't give up - he rose up! How did he do it? He found the benefit to him personally that comes from every trial. One Christian author writes: "Today we're obsessed with speed, but God is more interested in strength and stability. We want the quick fix, the shortcut, the on-the-spot solution. We want a sermon, a seminar or an experience that will instantly resolve all problems, remove all temptation and release us from all growing pains. But real maturity is never the result of a single experience, no matter how powerful or moving." Growth is gradual. The Bible says, "Our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters… and we become like Him"

Lord please help us not give up...

Rough Days

The last couple of weeks have truly been rough. But we make it through each day - sometimes wondering how it was possible. God's mercy and peace have sustained this family. We give Him the praise and glory for that.

John is doing very poorly, we now have a hospital bed in the living area for him to be in. It is unclear all that is really wrong, but he sleeps a lot, has discomfort and is generally not present with us. It is very hard to see him so not himself - our John is not here right now. We only hope and pray that he will be restored.

We have no news on Chris and the "something" in his lungs. He was suppose to get a needle biopsy but was to high a bleeding risk so now they are talking a more invasive procedure. That seems to be higher risk to me - but... it is all in God's hands. God already healed this - so we claim that victory. As you can imagine the weight of all this is often very heavy - crushing really. However each day is a new day, and somehow through it all we know that God loves us and that He is good. We put our trust in Him. No matter the outcome, we just hope that we have served Him well and kept the faith.

Ugh...what would we do without the Lord

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!

I almost hate to blog anymore, it seems each time is another "dark storm" that we are weathering. But the good thing is that somehow we get through it, maybe a little worn out for the battle, but still standing.

On Sunday John was in pain, it was unclear what was hurting but we decided we needed to try to see what was going on. So we took him to the emergency room. After a plethora of tests it was determined he had some pneumonia in his lungs and fluid on his pancreas. We never figured out why the fluid, but antibiotics have seemed to solve most of the problem. Finally got John home today, so 4 days in the hospital. Not a fun week, but we praise God for good hospitals, for good treatment and for John feeling better.

His recovery is very slow and has been set back a bit with this incident. But it rests with the Lord.

On another note, for your prayers, we learned also that although all the scans of Chris's legs and pelvis look good, the abnormal "whatever" in his lungs has shown back up again. This has been something that comes and goes, and last time we saw the mighty hand of God completely eliminate it. So we are not going to believe anything but the truth of God's healing of Chris. However the doctor want to do a biopsy next week to just make sure nothing is going on. So please pray with us in this, God's work is already done and that everything will confirm that in Chris's body.

Thanks so much for all the prayers and love.

Petra & Ami

On a bright side, when Dan came to visit with us, he brought his dog Ami(the totally black dog). The first introductions between him and our dog Petra did not go very well. Petra is a pup still and very rambunctious. Ami was not used to being around other dogs, his previous friend was a cat (poor dog). But what has been fun to watch is Ami becoming a dog again, he has learned not to be afraid of Petra and now enjoys endless playing. The funny thing is that he especially enjoys playing when she has a ball in her mouth. Keeps her from playing to rough. So they romp around the back yard, playing chase, it it gives me delight to watch them. Funny how dogs don't have a care in the world if they know their people are faithful to take care of them. That is how God basically says we should live, not being anxious, worrying, fearful etc... because we know our God will take care of us. I wish I could live more like a dog. But I would want to be a dog in my house, where you get to sleep on beds and have plenty to eat.

Recovering....

It has been a week since the surgery, and John has been resting, sleeping a lot. Yesterday we went to see a movie and have dinner out, John enjoyed just getting out. He is still very weak, so we just pray and wait and watch as God restores him. Tomorrow we go and see the surgeon, hopefully to get the staples out of his head. That will give a much better look. :-) We continue to thank everyone for their prayers, meals and e-mails. Your support is so precious to us.

We are home...

Yep that's right, only 2 days after the surgery we are home again. John was very very antsy to get out of the hospital. I have decided he does not make a very good patient. He is nice and all, but very impatient about getting out, and apparently it worked.

John is doing pretty good, very tired, he was unable to sleep last night so he is very exhausted. He is finally resting now which his body desperately needed. We give God all the praise for His speedy recovery for John and His continued restoration after the surgery. Thanks everyone and blessings to you from us.

We sing about the LORD's ways

Where to begin, today John had his surgery. He began at 7:45 and it was complete at 11:00, which was fast compared to the last time. The doctor came out and said it was a 10 out of 10, in other words, very successful. He felt the entire tumor had been removed and also that he had been able to do so without removing any healthy tissue. It was obvious that God had directed his hands. The best part was that the doctor had said that it may be a couple days before John could talk and that it would be a very good sign if he could immediately, well guess what? He was talking immediately, and not only that but his speech was already better. John was very excited and encouraged, giving praise to the Lord and wanting to be a light that shines in the hospital. We are very grateful to our amazing God, for His faithfulness and divine hands in all that went on today, and everyday.

"Yes, they will sing about the LORD's ways, for the glory of the LORD is very great. Though the LORD is great, he cares for the humble, but he keeps his distance from the proud. Though I am surrounded by troubles, you will preserve me against the anger of my enemies. You will clench your fist against my angry enemies! Your power will save me. The LORD will work out his plans for my life-- for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me." - Psalm 138:5-8

Surgery

Well the conclusion of meeting with doctors this week is that there are two options for John, the first is to do nothing, and the second is to have surgery to remove the bulk of the tumor. John has been praying and really seeking the Lord in what is the right option and seems to have peace with having surgery. He truly wants to be in obedience to God's will.

The surgery is scheduled for next Tuesday, December 9th. We are going to have it done at Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach where the doctor we have been using for the latest radiation is working out of. We have elected not to use our Kaiser doctors, John feels more confident in this doctor and we feel that confidence is important.

The hope with this surgery is that first it will remove the entire tumor of course, second that the pressure will be relieved and therefore John can come off the steroids he has been on to control the swelling. The steroids have become almost as detrimental to John as the tumor. They have been responsible for John's profound weakness to the point he needs assistance just walking. Truly we just place it all in God's hands. Knowing He is more than faithful.

We ask for your prayers, before the surgery for wisdom, if this is not the right path we want to know that. Thanks so much.

Faith is

I get a daily devotional called The Vine from New Zealand, this was today's,

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for." Hebrews 11:1 NKJV

Notice two important things about faith:
(1) Faith is a substance. In America people trade in dollars; in Europe they trade in Euros. But in God's Kingdom, faith is 'the coin of the realm!' It's what's required to do business with God (Hebrews 11:6). And it grows only by feeding on His Word (Romans 10:17).
(2) Faith must be connected to hope. If you're not hoping for anything, you don't need faith. But your hope must be based on what God's Word says. When God promised to make Abraham the father of many nations, Abraham spent the next 20 years looking for a son, even though the situation seemed impossible. How did he do it?

(a) "He believed - God, who… calls those things which do not exist as though they did" (Romans 4:17 NKJV). God 'sees' it, then He reveals it to you. And His willingness to bless you with it rests on your willingness to believe Him for it. (b) "Who, contrary to hope… believed… according to what was spoken" (Romans 4:18 NKJV). What has God said? That's what your hope should be built on. (c) "He did not consider his own body, already dead (since he was about a hundred years old)" (Romans 4:19 NKJV). You say, "But considering the circumstances… !" No, believe God; He's bigger than the circumstances! (d) "He did not waver… through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform" (Romans 4:20-21 NKJV).

So, strengthen your faith through the Scriptures. Keep giving glory to God for what He's promised you. Be resolute. Such faith honours God, and God honours such faith!

Latest...

Just an update...
John's doctor in Newport Beach called and recommends surgery - we will be meeting with him Tuesday morning to discuss what he has in mind. We also met with our local doctor who feels John is a good candidate for the new Cyber Knife radiation treatment. They have the machine coming on-line this week I think. We will meet with the radiologist about this option on Thursday.

We just ask for prayer that we would have wisdom on which if any direction to go. John continues to be very tired, weaker each day. God is good, we put our trust in Him, may He lead and direct us on the right path that brings Him the most glory.

A great song - Healing Hand of God!!

Thankful

As I thought this morning about this day of giving thanks - it was easy to maybe complain to God, what is there to be thankful for today? But taking a moment to just remember my life I realized I am filled with gratitude, even though things are not as I would have ever imagined them, we as a family have so much to be praising our God for.

First, our lives. That we even were born is in the hands of our God, I am especially grateful for my sons and daughter. The miracle of their lives - the trust God placed on John and I to raise His precious children. I am grateful for my husband, for John, he has been my friend, my perfect match. We have been a team in pretty much everything we have done. I am grateful for all that God has blessed us with - great family, great friends, great churches, and abundance of love. Really we have so much to give gratitude for and these trial are something we give thanks for also, they have been used to refine us, to become more dependent upon our Lord.

Lord we give you praise and thank you for calling us to yourself. May our lives honor You.

Evening of Prayer

There are events that happen that make you pause and realize just how precious the people are around you. People you may not see everyday or even talk to very often. But when need arises they step up and it's just as if they had been walking right beside you all the time. They are the hands, feet and mouth of Jesus - His love. Last night we experienced that love.

Friends from our sending church, The Oaks, our new church, The Way came over to spend a couple of hours praying over our family and over John specifically. It was an amazing time of worship and prayer and reading God's word. Each person had sacrificed their time to come and spend it with us - we were humbled and felt peace. It was such a beautiful demonstration of the special love we have one for another that Jesus says will cause people to look at us - His followers.

I think one of the most moving times during the prayer was when John was asked if he had anything to share and He kept repeating that this was not about him - but about Jesus. I just prayer that whatever the outcome of this journey John's desire will be fulfilled, that the name of Jesus will be Glorified in such a way that those who do not know Him will be drawn to Him.

Trust

Praise the Lord, He opened the schedule so John got the PET/CT done on Thursday, it was sent to the doctor in Newport. We hope to hear from that doctor on Tuesday. Meanwhile, we just wait on the Lord, He is good. A friend at our church gave me a little card with just one word, TRUST!! We continue to just trust in Him, He is always faithful.

Waiting....

Just an update, John's doctor in Newport Beach has asked for another type of scan, PET/CT so we are working to get that done quickly. So there is really no news yet. John is doing alright, tired a lot and very weak on his right side. Thanks again for your continued prayers.

There will be a Day